Sunday, October 31, 2010

parallax, ultima Thule, ultramontane, a perte de vue, aphelion


Those are all synonyms of a word. A certain word. A word that describes how I feel. None of them actually mean the actual meaning I am meaning but they sound cool, look cool and create the illusion that I know stuff. Also... you wont know unless you look it up. Making you smarter. Yep that's right. I am that nice.
Can you keep a secret? I've not told a soul. Or a person. Or an animal for that matter. But I have told myself, several times in fact. Thinking, or out loud or written. I've told my self. My self keeps secrets good. Can you? I hope it was a yes because I can't hear you. Partly because I don't know who 'you' are and we are not in the same room (just in case you didn't know that.) Well we might be in the same room but not right now. Ha. I chuckle. Ok so assuming it was a yes, (i know what people say when you assume but it's okay. I promise. Keep reading. Unless you wanna stop. Then stop. Unless you wanna keep reading then keep reading. Or if you wanna pause and get a sandwhich, by all means stuff your face then push play and keep going. Unless your bored. Ok. Lunch pale would say i'm stalling. Hehe. Like a car. Cause they stall and it's annoying especially if you have to go somewhere.

So. Are you in suspence? Cause that was the point. Wanna know my secret? Ok here goes.
Don't judge and I'll give you a cookie. (not really. but it sounded good.)

So the feeling I am sorta describing with the words in the title is my secret. Hahaha!!! Don't you totally feel like some one stuck out their hand for you to shake and then pulled it back and said syke! ha. Ok ok. I will expound.

Here is the story of people in general because I am sure this is not uncommon. But it is still my story. There is a person (aka me and whomever.) who goes through life. At a certain point in life things get really good. Like golden good. Everything is happy. Sure there are bad days but life is comfortably enjoyable. Then slowly/quickly things change. Lots of changes all at once. All of sudden life is very different. Still good but uncomfortably different. Getting used to it is not a piece of cake. Its more like a piece of cactus. It's life but it must be eaten. (please do not go out and eat cactus. Be smart don't start.) All the people that were in the life before it changed are not. All the situations are different. Life has changed. I have changed. It's not bad. It can be good. But I don't feel the good. Right now it just is.

I'm fine with the change. I think in the long run I need it. But right now when all I focus is what's in front of my face it's like nails on a chalk board. (did you cringe just cause you read those words? I did just by writting them. I hate that sound.) The thing i have issues with the most is that the people are different. I wish I could have both sets of people. Not just one. They are both awesome. I miss the first set. so much. That's my secret.

Lame eh. Whatever.

Did you guess the word? The word that the 'title' described?

Well. Here is one more synonym that actually means it.

alienate.


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