Weird.

Sometimes I hear people calling themselves weird. I even at times call myself weird. But I thought about it and realized why the heck do I call myself weird and why are they doing it? It doesn't quite make sense. I have lived with myself in all my oddity for twenty one years. I am very used to myself by now. I know I do things that others may stare at me as if I have three heads. But that doesn't make me weird does it? Doesn't that make them weird? They act abnormally in my perspective? Or has our culture really defined us to the point where we believe that we are selves are abnormal? If you really think about it, define normal. Everyone is different. With a different story. With a different background. Different quirks. Yeah sure there are those that are truly abnormal but they all have a reason to be so. (ex. birth defect, huge occurrence in life.) I feel like abnormal is normal. It would be weird if everyone was named Bob and Jane and did the same things at the same time all the time.

This saves my heart.

Funk-ee town-less.

I am in a funk. I don't like funks. Most of the time I blame it on being a girl but I do not actually believe that is the source of all the funk-ness. When I am in a funk I act odd. Out of character. I like my character and I prefer to remain in character. I want my funk to be gone.

Updates from my life.
I went to visit Ann in California a couple weeks ago. It was such the blast. We did boring things together but because we did them together they were so awesome. Like driving to the post box four times in a week. Or driving down memory lane while we were lost. Cheesy wedgers at The box! Movies but the truck load. Ann is cool. She pretty much completes me. (I was saying it to be cheesy but there is some truth to the statement.) She has been a friend to me ever since high school. It was an unlikely duo formed in the midst of being thrown together for twelve hours a day for months. She has been there for me when I'm hurting. She is there to tell me I am an idiot. She rolls her eyes at me while laughing hysterically, cause lets face it, I am hysterical. I love her so much and would do just about anything for her. She is my best friend and I am so grateful for her in my life. She is awesome in a mega way. To the infinity power. I hate that she is all the way in Cali. That seems eons away from Utah. Grr man. Grr.

Keim is getting married in a week. One week. Crap man. Then she is moving to North Carolina. I am so super excited for her!!!!!!!!!!! Sad cause she will be miles and miles away but she will be with her awesome hubby in the east! She always makes me laugh. Love her for that. And so many other great qualities she's got.

Kyla is getting married in three... yeah three ish weeks. I love this girl to death. She is like a soul sister...sorta. She is amazing in so many different ways. We can get so hyper and silly and random together, it's fantastic. Her and her fiance are so cute together. Adorable really. And he is so good to her. She will be moving up north to Logan. Not to far away but farther than I want her. I will miss her so much. Pizza and ranch always.

I threw a birthday for another amazing friend of mine. She is so awesome and does not even realize how much so she is. I doubt she knows how much she has influenced me in my life. It was an awesome party if I do say so myself. We laughed, played games, ate bad for you food, played more games and then everyone left. But six of the female variety. It was such a fun party. Highlights for me were: Lizette having a good time at her party, the guys who came that are oh so good looking, being King at scum three times in a row (boo-yah baby!!), learning a new game (werewolf), playing Smurf, the good attendance, MASH of course, and spending time with so many awesome people...mainly from my ward.... and they are so very amazing. Yeah but really I am glad it went well because Lizette deserves it. A good birthday is awesome and can go a long way.

Julie and I got to spend an epic day together shopping, talking and laughing. Then her and MAT Shelley (her love-dove hubby) came over to my Fam's house for dinner. So good to have them both over. I love them so much. And p.s we went Christmas shopping and I am so very excited for Christmas this year! I am always excited for it. But even more so this year. I am making everyones gifts. They are going to be of epic porportions. Because I am not sure if my brothers read my blog or not I will not be telling you what they are but I will tell you that they are super sweet!!! As in sick!!! That means like dope! (Shout out to Keim.) And no they are not birdhouses or mugs or the like. They are ligit man! Oh and Julie. She is married to MAT Shelley if you didn't guess from the above comment. She is pretty much an angel. Always there. Patient beyond belief with me. Deals with my crazy insane-ness as everyday happenings. Love her forever and always. She is moving probably to Cedar or AZ. Both are far away.

Are you seeing a pattern in my friends marriage habbits? Marriage and move! What are they thinking that they can have a life or something? Gosh some people! Sheesh! (For those who can not hear my voice while reading the above was sarcastic. Just saying.)

I have not been getting sleep lately. Worry in the head. Sidetracked from sleep. Crazy ideas of Christmas. Restlessness. Funks. You know. The usual. No big deal. I only get more tired. That is always fun to deal with!

Oh and fun fact for you. As I was writing about all my amazing friends and how awesome they are I did not feel as Funk-filled and it was awesome!!!! They help just by my thinking of how they have helped me previously. Yep. They are that cool. (*Insert shoulder shrug and wiping of shoulder of invisible dust*)

I love my friends. In fact one of them I have not mentioned yet but is also very amazing. She is the sweetest, kindest person I know. She radiates goodness. We were talking once about how friends leave our life's too quick for comfort and she told me a quote she heard once. "Friends in the Gospel are friends forever." It means so much to me. Heaven does not sound like it will be heaven with out my family and my friends.

Dear Mystery Man.

Last night I threw a party for one of the coolest people and at the end of the party there were six of us girls left sitting around talking. What do you get when you put six girls in a room? What do you think we talk about? Yep. That's right. Playing MASH while eating pasta!!! Bam yo! Our lives turned out pretty good.

Especially yours and mine. I fully don't expect for it to come true. That little paper only represents idle fantasies and counting methods. But it did get me thinking about you. Today in church as I looked at the members in my ward, I wondered if you were among them. I've thought about you and what would ever possess you to be with me forever. You must be pretty great.

I must warn you though. I love to sing at the top of my lungs at random times of the day. Doesn't necessarily matter where I am. I don't always realize when an awkward moment happens because I am too busy laughing at it. I don't realize how loud I am really being. I have a large spacial bubble that can be shrunk but usually I like it big. I love swallowing cold beverages in the morning to feel it slide down my throat.  I love to be impulsive and do random activities! My socks never match. I am loud. At times very loud. I laugh loud and talk loud. When I watch movies I get excessively so especially when the movie pulls me in!  Consider yourself warned. Although I'm not sure why I'm warning you! ;D

When I think of you I begin to evaluate myself. Would I marry me? Odd question but it helps me to see if I am doing what I should be to prepare myself for you. I want you to be amazing. I have such a high standard for you, I hope you know. But I don't want to ask you to do something I am not willing to do. As part of my high standards for you, you will have high standards that I have to meet. I hope I do. Because your worth it.

The end. From me, your mystery woman.

P.S All the best wishes I am whooshing at you.

It's the best! I love it!

I love Thanksgiving! It is one of the best Holidays in my life! Sitting around with family chilling and having fun. Most things close so chances are you've got work off. And school. Just a huge excuse to spend time with Family. I love my family so much! They are so very fantastic!!! It is so bueno!!

I played with my two brothers and my amazing sister. So much fun! Also a really good friend of mine joined us for a good chunk of Thanksgiving! Time with loved ones always makes me happy!

parallax, ultima Thule, ultramontane, a perte de vue, aphelion

Those are all synonyms of a word. A certain word. A word that describes how I feel. None of them actually mean the actual meaning I am meaning but they sound cool, look cool and create the illusion that I know stuff. Also... you wont know unless you look it up. Making you smarter. Yep that's right. I am that nice.

Can you keep a secret? I've not told a soul. Or a person. Or an animal for that matter. But I have told myself, several times in fact. Thinking, or out loud or written. I've told my self. My self keeps secrets good. Can you? I hope it was a yes because I can't hear you. Partly because I don't know who 'you' are and we are not in the same room (just in case you didn't know that.) Well we might be in the same room but not right now. Ha. I chuckle. Ok so assuming it was a yes, (i know what people say when you assume but it's okay. I promise. Keep reading. Unless you wanna stop. Then stop. Unless you wanna keep reading then keep reading. Or if you wanna pause and get a sandwhich, by all means stuff your face then push play and keep going. Unless your bored. Ok. Lunch pale would say i'm stalling. Hehe. Like a car. Cause they stall and it's annoying especially if you have to go somewhere.

So. Are you in suspence? Cause that was the point. Wanna know my secret? Ok here goes.

Don't judge and I'll give you a cookie. (not really. but it sounded good.)

So the feeling I am sorta describing with the words in the title is my secret. Hahaha!!! Don't you totally feel like some one stuck out their hand for you to shake and then pulled it back and said syke! ha. Ok ok. I will expound.

Here is the story of people in general because I am sure this is not uncommon. But it is still my story. There is a person (aka me and whomever.) who goes through life. At a certain point in life things get really good. Like golden good. Everything is happy. Sure there are bad days but life is comfortably enjoyable. Then slowly/quickly things change. Lots of changes all at once. All of sudden life is very different. Still good but uncomfortably different. Getting used to it is not a piece of cake. Its more like a piece of cactus. It's life but it must be eaten. (please do not go out and eat cactus. Be smart don't start.) All the people that were in the life before it changed are not. All the situations are different. Life has changed. I have changed. It's not bad. It can be good. But I don't feel the good. Right now it just is.

I'm fine with the change. I think in the long run I need it. But right now when all I focus is what's in front of my face it's like nails on a chalk board. (did you cringe just cause you read those words? I did just by writting them. I hate that sound.) The thing i have issues with the most is that the people are different. I wish I could have both sets of people. Not just one. They are both awesome. I miss the first set. so much. That's my secret.

Lame eh. Whatever.

Did you guess the word? The word that the 'title' described?

Well. Here is one more synonym that actually means it.

alienate.

Dear Everyone!!!

I have decided a decision.

I am going a mission! For sure!!! I am so excited for it and can't even stand that fact that I have so much to do before I can go! I really really wanna go already!!!

This is fantastic!!!!

Crazy Sweet Dream...that i had...while I slept.

Ok it was so cool and bizzare. However I've gotta say that it was really intricate and complicated. I'm giving the watered down version because I can't remember all of it. Another trippy thing is that it was like I was having two dreams at once. Which was way neato.

First dream:
So i'm in the Hotel/Giant building. I'm there for support for a friend of mine is is trying out for something or other. So the four people I am aware of in my dream is Chelsie and Jamie, Emily and I. We get there and Chelsie and Jamie are having a discussion about who is going to do better, I guess they are both going for the same thing or something. I wasn't really sure even in my dream. So we get up to the room and there are a whole bunch of other people there for 'auditions' I guess you could say. Jamie is upset...not sure why but she does this coolio thing where she has on this over coat but she takes it off in a 'i-mean-bussiness' sort of way. Which looked way cool. Then she has on this amazing blue dress and she goes out of the room to go talk to management or something or to try out or whatever she came there for and everyone is trying to stop her. Chelsie, Emily and i follow her out into the hall to absolute chaos. Oh and the jonas brothers were there too. Ok so hall full of chaos. So I'm following Jamie and it's set up so that there is a hole in the middle of the building and you can look down and see how many floors you are up and the center of the bottom floor. So We get out there and we see that the building is being blown up or somehting and there is a battle going on the building is in danger of colapsing and lots of smoke is billowing up from the bottom floor. So Jamie charges onto the elevator and I go after her cause I'm trying to keep her safe. I guess the elevator is speedy fast cause then we are on ground floor and I convince her to run out side and we end up running out side with the jonas brothers. We are outside and it's a thunder storm but everyone is trying to rush to saftey. I tell the Jonas brothers to take care of Jamie which they are fine with because she is very cute and attractive and such a cool person. So I start flipping out inside because my sister is in danger and so I start rushing back inside and as I'm doing that everyone knows lightning is going to strike where we are at soon and so they are all trying to get away. So In an attempt to get away from it and to save my sister...and chelsie I run towards the building I just came from and I get near this tree. The lightning strikes the tree and surges through the ground and hits me. I swear I actually felt it zapping. So I get knocked down and then jamie comes over and helps me up. then I start for the building again. Then I wake up.

The second dream I had was that I was in this same building with the same people but it was under different circumstances. I had my old english teacher Mrs. Rock.  But she was my boss or perspective boss. I was trying to get a job and she needed for me to write a story and my mind was blank and couldn't do it. But then I started watching Jamie and Chelsie and Emily and those around me (plus me) live our lives and I got great stories cause adventures started happening and the jonas brothers meshed themselves into one brother and he was way cool and was our good bud. But I don't remember all the adventures. I think the first dream may have been one and that is how they tied in. But that was my dreaming. It was cool.

Especially getting hit by lightning because I really did feel something as it happend.


I know the writing of the dream is not the bestest but there you go.

I have tasted fall.

Last night my dad made Banana-squash soup. It sounds interesting. It looks interesting. It looks like mellow-yellow baby food. But it tastes like fall. No joke. In one spoon full it has captured the very essence that is fall. Crunching on leaves. Taking a walk while it is a tad chilly. The smell in the evening. The beautiful sunrise over the mountain. The changing colors of the trees.

Yeah. I ate Fall. I feel accomplished.

I want to find winter, spring and summer to eat now too.

Oh and if you want to eat fall too...

1 1/2 cup peeled and diced hubbard squash (1 1/2 inch cubes)
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg (very important)
1 1/2 cup whole milk (or cream)
3 tablespoons honey
1 cup mashed ripe bananas

Bring 1 inch of water to boil in a steamer. Place squash in a steamer basket set over the boiling water and cover. Steam for 20 minutes. Transfer steamed squash to a bowl and mash. Add black pepper, nutmeg, milk, honey and bananas. Heat gently before serving. Add more skim milk for a thinner consistency.

Enjoy your edible Fall.

I'd be really smart if the stuff I was smart at worked.

That dear readers, the title is a quote from my sister. She is a genious in many ways. She just doesn't realize it.  And...This (pretend arrow pointing in a downwards direction.) is a letter to said amazing sister.

Dear Emily,
You know how you go around saying that I'm your favorite sister ever and that I'm your hero? Well I just wanted you to know that you truly are my favorite sister ever. You really are my hero. You constantly amaze me with everything you do. You are an extrodaniary person. I love you with all my heart and am thankful every day that you indeed are my sister.
I feel as if you have surpassed me in many ways and now it is my turn to look up to you. You are such an example of goodness. You have grown so much as a person and I am blessed to have been able to see your progress in life. You have inspired me to be better. To be kinder. To be more than I am.
Remember the song we listened to in the car today as we were driving about? I'd like to electronically sing it to you now. (And yes. My electronic voice is impeccable and perfect. Unlike. My real one. But you love me anyway. And I love you for it.) ♫ Your the meaning in my life. Your my inspiration.♫ (In a way that really fits and in a way it doesn't. So we are gonna go with the 'way' that it fits. )
I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as forever my sister you'll be! (that's from a lovely book of the lovely kind.)
Sincerely,
Your awe-inspired sister.

Thanks.

I'm going to pretend that I just won some grand illustrious award and now, because of that, I get to make a thank you speech. Which is the following.



I'd like you thank you all for this award! I feel so honored but I could not have gotten to where I am today if it had not been for my fans. Those people who loved me and took an interest in me. Those people who stood by me in times of need. Those people who stood and laughed at me when I did something dumb. I'm grateful to my number one fans, my mom and dad. They are my hero's through and through. They taught me values and morals. They have always believed in me and stood by my side. My siblings rank pretty high as well. They never let me be too serious and always gave me something to laugh at, or growl at then laugh later. They have never left my side either.

My friends have been there as well. Acting like a giant cushion of comfort and support. Believing in me and propelling me forward. My family and friends act a giant net made of hands waiting to catch me and spring me up again.

Thank you for all your love and support. Your prayers and your faith. You truly have influenced my life for the better and helped me to progress. Thank you!



Now. It's not the most refined or eloquent but it's truly heart felt. My family is my life. My friends are a wonderful garnish that having had, I don't ever want to give up.

The Lord is so good to me for giving me a wonderful family and amazing friends. I am truly blessed.

Dear Future Mr.

Where are you? How are you? I thought about you today. My thoughts went like this "I hope that God is preparing him like he is preparing me." The more I thought about that thought the more I realized that the man upstairs knows all and sees all. Therefor he will know how to help you and how to help me.

I just want you to know. That I'm excited when I get to meet you. Actually, that's an understatement. I can't wait to because well...Dear Mr. Future. I'm at a loss for words because of the welling excitement. Your pretty nifty. You make me all tongue tied and I'm not sure who you are, except that you are my future.

sincerely,
me.

I'm gonna die.

My brother was reading a book this evening and informed me that the book told him that when you fart your life gets shorter. True story. He said the book informed him that there is only so much air in a human body and one good floof could take away one year of your life. I feel like I've been cursed with gas. Not that anybody needs to know that. But since it's my blog and no one reads it I can! haha! So In light of that news I am pretty sure I will die at age 34. Maybe if I eat more beans I can knock it down to 29.

I never imagined I would die of over flatulence. I actually wanted to die of some incredible neat story that I could be all boasty over. Actually truth: I want to die with my spouse, I don't care how it is.

Ok. The first two paragraphs are slightly morbid. New note. A lighter happier one.

I was thinking about friends today. I am of the personal bias belief that my friends are the bst in the world! They are truly fantastic and have contributed to who I am today. I love them so much and in in debt to them.  Each one of them has left an impression. The thought crossed my mind of what if you mix them all together, all of their amazing qualities into one person. Of course that person would have some of their weaknessess. I thought to myself, 'self, that would be one incredible person.' Then all of a sudden this person sprung to life in my head. Can I just say, they were a tad bit pshychoatic. I mean can you imagine 12 differeant people shoved into one person. I mean....that's a little extreme. I feel like the man upstairs is much better at people making than I am. But that person is my head is really hilarious to talk to. Really really.

Oh and gotta put in a plug for Education Week. I truly know that God loves me. When I attended a class heavenly father gave me some tender mercies in the form of personal epipanies. I love to realize things about myself. Even if they are negitive. The man upstairs showed me things I needed to improve while the whole time allowing me to know that he loves me so much. Isn't that great! He loves me and wants me to be my best. I love him for it.

sniff sniff...sigh...I want a vinegar pie.

 Have you ever noticed that indecision has a sort of smell to it? It's like sulfur and strawberries.  Or  molasses and vinegar. It's like stepping off a cliff. Except you're not sure whether to step off the cliff above the lake or the cliff above a field with hundreds of angry buffalo. The choice seems simple, right? But really, in your head the images are blury. The buffalo seem to take on the image of a cool refreshing body of water. When you jump and land and get trampled then you realize that it was actually buffalo you were jumping into and not water. But if you didn't jump off that particular cliff you wouldn't have found that bajillion dollar bill laying by your right hand. Having thousands of hoofs tenderize your insides is only a small side effect (that probably wont be realized till later...but still).

K, so (cheese) water or water buffalo? If I jumped in the water, the real water, I could finally learn how to swim, that'd be nice. See what I mean? I bet you can smell it already the tangoing sulfur vinegar act and the hugging obsessed strawberry molasses. Well what ever you smell keep on sniffing.

Oh dude. I just found a third cliff. This one has little fluffy bunnies at the bottom. I might smash them if I land wrong. That's gross.

You know what sounds so good right now? Tortilla's dipped in yogurt. yep yep.

Meaning.

This whole time of me blogging, which has not been very long I have tried to remain aloof and not to give to much away. I didn't want to put to much out there fore a good deal of my posts mean nothing. They do but it's not an important something. From this blog on, the posts will have a meaning. Hopefully it will be seen. If not...I'll do better.

Canada.

I am leaving to Canada in five days. I am stoked. Woot Woot woot.
Life has been good.
Friends are amazing. They help me so much.
Family is my life. They are always there. Thanks

Did you know it can snow in may?
Fun fact for ya.

Boredom is like....an Apple

So at work I sat. I sat on a chair of green. This chair was comfy. I remained sat in this comfy chair of green. For hours. Hours and more hours. All by myself. No co-workers. However there was a spikeball in my night. This spike ball is short and bald. This spike ball frusterates the green chair sitter. The spike ball is gone. The lone green chair sitter remains. And sits some more.

The person in the chair is bored. There is nothing to do but sit in the chair. The chair is not comfy no more. The butt on the chair says so. The boredom seeps in deeper. Like an apple. It seeps in deeper like unto an apple. Weird. Do apples seep. Yep. They do. They have seeped deeply into our culture. You can see apples in art. Apples in media. Apples in food. Yeah I know they are inherently food. But still. When you eat them they seep into your intestinal tract and eventually seep into the soil. Apples seep. Boredom seeps.

Boredom also resembles an apple in the fact that it just sits there never acting unless acted upon. Boredom never happens unless acting ceases. Action ceases. Boredom is also a pretty color on the outside and a bland one on the inside. When your super busy it looks appetizing to be bored but when you partake you don't nessicerily like it. The end.


Boredom.

Squares of Color

Colorful balloons floating up in the sky.
Open cans of paint with a clean brush...not for long.
Scattered gum balls on the floor...slipping and slidding ...and falling.
Died lemons sqeezed into my pallet
What are the things that are clips and hold paper together?

Spray paint...my medium
vs
Blush...my arch nemisis.
-sorry twitch, it slipped.

Q: Where is my rainbow of color?
A: Under all the rain.

The trash is full of hangers
Whoosh back in time and you get LEGOS
Rushing and waiting and spinning and hoping...and
Glass blows.

Aw. Backgrounds make life happy.
Literally.
Metaphorically.

Lets have a baby...cow.

Once upon a time. there was a baby...cow. And this baby...cow was dumb.


I got bored. Now I am thinking of pizza. I want pizza. Oh gross. Nope not anymore, that's gross.

Today is my day. My day to make the buss move. My day to choose. Tomorrow is not my day! Oh How I will enjoy tomorrow!!!

Oh my goodness gracious! Gasp!!! How awesome is it to sit in a question answer session for two hours and getting an amazing person to answer your hard questions!!! A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!

This 9-19 Fun!!! 25-5-1 for 14-21-13-2-5-18-19, sometimes.

So, arias...um....proper concert protocoll....packing...harps....palm trees....black man fro....ocean....cement....white sound barrier....ROAD DETUR...electrical trees ugh. Ugh. Hey....be HAPPY!!! It's s'all good!!!

Happy is good. I like happy!

..................so this is school...............?

I am the grand canyon.
.....Nope just studying the grand canyon.

I am a dead Mitochondria.
.....Nope just reading about Mitochondria.

I am a freshly made pot.
......Nope just learning about if that pot is art.
(hehehehe...pot...art....haha!)

So....sometimes. When I study. My brain takes a vacation.
How am I supposed to remember what I study?
If my brain is in...say Italy? Or Cali?... smile!

Tis The Season Fer OSD...bummer.

Seems like everytime I turn around someone is suffering from OSD.  OSD is not actually a for real disorder but concerning me and everyone in my perspective, it does. OSD is Over Scheduling Disorder. My mother pinned this disorder on me a while back. It's still pinned. Can't shake it. I believe it to be hereditary because she has it too. Actually, being in college I see many who suffer from it. I tried clearing my schedule. I've tried just dropping everything. I've tried being lazy. Nothing seems to work. The only thing I enjoy doing out of those three is having lots to do and to be productive!

word.

Have you tried talking?

So. This thing we call talking.
If you go to Urbandictionary.com, it says: The thing most people do before you realize that they are unintelligent.
Dictionary.com says:  to communicate and express ideas.
Friend 1 says: It is singing in a monotone voice that does not change notes and it doesn't have apostrophes and periods at the end. (But if you are friend one. There are no periods or apostrophes while your talking anyway. Sentences go on and on. Admitted by friend one herself. For example of how friend one 'talks':  'It came out of my head in the place of my head and that made since in my head.")
MAT Shelley friend says: Making any noise that logically makes since in some way. However grunting is not considered to be talking.  Talking is words.  Words are used to talk. A word is a bunch of sounds put together that make logical since.
When friend three was asked, she simply giggled.

So now that talking has been defined it does not make action any easier to complete. I tryed friend three's approach. I giggled. It was okay, I enjoyed burning the calories from laughing. I was definatly feeling the, "they proloby think I am unintelligent vibe." However I did not loose heart and I tried MAT Shelley friend's approach. I must admitt, you can string all the words you want together but unless they make since to more than just the person who is talking, then your beating your head against a wall. I then tried friend one's approach to speaking. So I sang in a monotone voice and people covered their ears. Ok, so not really but, metaphorically they did, for real.

Dear dictionary.com I know that it is a form on expressing ideas for that is the issue I am having with this talking thing. I put words together in my head. I spit them out and some how, from my brain to my mouth they got morphed. It's like I am playing the telephone game and I don't mean to be doing so. I know exactly what I want to say, its the actual saying it that I am stuck at. I would much rather write out what I have to say. But I guess it's not practical to force everyone to hold while I write down my thoughts and then let the conversation then proceed.

Dear Urbandictionary. I believe you are correct. The end.

VCR Mind

Floating balloons above my head.
Just out of reach.
Fluffy pillows being stuffed in the
blow hole of a whale.
Blind folds on the edge of a cliff.
Pause.
Fast forward.
The balloons got popped.
The words inside of them vanish into thick air.
Fluffy pillows launched into the air
by congested whales.
Who are now congested with...
Feathers.
Stop.

A is for applesauce...not just a plain apple

Life is like a rollercoaster.
It's fantastic and fast.
With ups.
With downs.
With twists and turns.

Of course this is old hat.
The metaphore that life is like a rollercoaster has been used countless times before.
But I like it.
So on my blog it sits.
Like a turtle slowly fading away.

On this life of a rollercoaster...
...Tips...
.....hold on tight
......don't close your eyes
.........enjoy yourself
.............pinch the person next to you to make sure they are alive
.................scream your head off in happiness!
......................Look at the view and
breathe.

Don't forget.
Applesauce is saucy-er than apples.
Yep.

Let Me Soar

When you find something to fill your hollow cracks, dont let it go.
When you find something that makes you feel glorious, don't let it go.
When you find joy, peace and happiness, don't let it go.
When you find love and comfort, don't let it go.
When you find truth, don't let it go.
When you find people you love, don't let them go.

Let go of feelings that leave you hollow feeling.
Let go of negativity that consumes.
Let go of garbage in the mind. 
Let go of hate and grudges.
Let go of jealousy and envy.
Let go of comparisons.

Hold on.
Life can be hard.
Life gets hard.
It's inevitable.
Life can be happy.
Life is happy.
It's inevitable.
Good and bad tango through life.
Touching all.
Getting through rough patches.
Skating through glory times.
It's life.
When down...know this;
It's a small moment.
It's for growth.
It too, shall pass.
Remember to smile.
Smiling is good.
Life is too short to go through it with a bad attitude.
The end.

Thimble Tack Time

Picture a giant ball.
A ball so big it has to be lifted with a crane.
The crane breaks.
The ball is that big.
The ball grows even bigger.
You stand next to it.
Your nothing more than the size of a thimble.
The ball is made up of thoughts.
And feelings.
From a single person.
Inside of the ball is...
Nothing.
The ball is hollow.
The hollowness rings true.
With the hollowness comes a pain.
A hollow pain.
A pain like unto super glue.
Never subsiding.
A pain with nothing pleasant to gain.
The ball grows on.
In my head.
Jump of a cliff.
Get rid of the ball.
The ball is filled of air.
And floats.
A floating head.
Not falling off a cliff.
A floating head.
Floating off a cliff.
I need to find a tack.
To pop the ball.

Sometimes Life Hands You Crap...Not Even Lemons.

Today in my institute class, my teacher was talking about this man manassah who, he refered to as, one of the most wicked men this earth will ever know.  He told us that manassah introduced misstreating of women in such awful ways that this world has rarely seen.  He went on to say other things that made this guy so bad.  I was thinking to myself that possibly, just possibly the world was as bad.  To me in my eyes, what makes this earth bad is the fact that there are so many people here, the more opportunites to have bad people on the earth.  My roommate shared with me that in this life there are really bad specific things and really good specific things.  However, often, it's the really bad specific things we focus on. 

The really bad specific things happen. They do. And it sucks.  Recently a really good friend of mine had 'a really bad thing' happen to them.  It made me so mad.  I wanted to start stabbing doom buckets with forks and be violent towards them and finish it off with a dousing of lemon juice. That or kerosene and a lighter.  I wished crap upon doom buckets, I wished their bucket would be heaped with crap. I felt for my friend so deeply.  She did not deserve the crap, but in her face it got thrown.  I think that this happens more than often to those unsuspecting.  People will be walking in a beautiful meadow and all of a sudden their foot lands in a nice fresh pile of dodo.

I have learned that not every person in life is trustworthy, but there are people who are.  That's the thing in life, to sort the good from the bad.  To find the good apples and sort them away from the worm infested apples.  I think it is possible, however, to find those people of good values and morals and to surround yourself with them.  The tricky part is when a wormmy apple is disguised as a good apple.  Those disguised apples may be in your family or your 'friends' or they may even be people you've just met or have no idea who they are.  You think they are just fine and then, BAM, they go and throw poop in your face.

The 'poop in your face' is inevitable. It's gonna happen. Whether if they poo is from rotten apples, disguised apples or just things that happen in life, stuff is gonna happen.  That's part of life however. Take the good with the bad, bad with the good.  I know this and lots of others have figured this out as well. One thing though, is with my religion I have a different perspective than some.  I know that God is there for me. I know God is there for my friend.  I know that in the eternal perspective all doom buckets will have poo. In their buckets.  Period.  I know that it's not always to keep this in mind, especially when crap happens.  However, there is this really smart deceased man who said:
"But whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my mother’s words often came back to me: “Come what may, and love it.”  How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.  If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness." 
This wise mans name is Joseph B. Wirthlin.  He goes on to say that we need to trust in god, understand compensation, seek for the eternal and learn to laugh at the small trivial things that seem awful at the time (like someone cutting you off in traffic). 

I know that what Joseph B. Wirthlin is suggesting is possible to do in life.  As much as I wanted to take a two by four to a certain doom buckets and share with them choice words.  I know that in the end it will all work out.  Even in times of aboslute sorrow, there is a purpose. Another of my really good friends went through an awfull experience awhile back when she was in high school.  I know that her going through that has helped make her who she is today.  I love the person who she is.  I would not wish what she went through on any one and my heart breaks that she went through what she did. But she has this view on life that is so unique to who she is. It was bad what happened.  But she set such a great example for me.  I know that in life I will be faced with the job of scraping my crap off my shoes or sluddging through slime.  I know that it can be done. For her. For my friend. For me. And for everyone else.